Ch. Forgot what 14 Forgot what 14

**14** 

**[September 18, 2021]** 

Today, I forgot several times if I had eaten. I can’t remember why I was sent here, and my memory is getting worse. 

And it’s getting worse every day. 

I secretly found a notebook to write down what happens every day. 

Every morning when I wake up, I’ll read it. 

That way I won’t forget. 

**[September 20, 2021]** 

Today, the attending physician showed me Christian Davies’s photo and asked me who he 

was. 

Christian in the photo was in a sharp suit, handsome and refined, every gesture captivating. 

I shyly said: 

“Christian Davies, the man I’ve loved for four years.” 

That day, the attending physician subjected me to the heaviest punishment. 

< 

Every time I looked at Christian, if there was even a hint of affection in my eyes, a sharp electric current would course through my entire body. 

I was in agony, my face contorted. 

Yet, I couldn’t stop missing Christian. 

The attending physician told me to forget him. 

I thought it was ridiculous. 

He’s Christian Davies! 

How could I possibly forget him? 

**[December 24, 2021]** 

Today, the attending physician showed me Christian Davies’s photo again and asked who 

he was. 

I was a little dazed. 

I said he was Christian Davies. 

That night, I secretly read my diary under the covers. 

I remembered. That feeling of loving him. 

Thank goodness I kept a diary. 

Otherwise, I might really have forgotten that heart-pounding, blushing feeling. 

**[May 3, 2022]** 

Today, the doctor showed me a photo of Christian and Willow kissing. 

I was so scared I recoiled. 

Because every time I saw his photo, I had to endure unbearable pain. 

< 

Now, he was like a monstrous beast to me. 

Heart-stopping. 

The attending physician shook his head: 

“Still an emotional response, Lily. This is not right. Come, let’s move on to the next stage 

of treatment.” 

That night, I helplessly opened my notebook. 

It said I had once loved Christian so much I couldn’t extricate myself. 

I sacrificed my dignity for him, sacrificed everything for him. 

I stared blankly at these unfamiliar words. 

He was so terrifying, why would I have liked him? 

Did I really write these words? 

**[November 7, 2022]** 

Willow came to see me again today. 

I told her about the torment I was enduring. 

I begged her to take me away. 

She took out a beautiful showreel photo and showed it to me. 

“Lily, do I look pretty?” 

I nodded enviously: 

“So pretty. I wish I were as pretty as you, Willow. Look at me now, covered in scars, always listless, like an old woman.” 

Willow asked: 

< 

“Do you want to be an actress too?” 

I nodded longingly. 

Willow’s face immediately darkened: 

“Lily, you never change.” 

“It seems, it’s still not enough.” 

That day, I was locked in a dark, sunless room for five days. 

When I came out, I was trembling all over, vomiting white foam. 

Willow looked down at me and asked: 

“Lily, do you still dare to covet your sister’s things?” 

I shook my head desperately, even wetting my pants on the spot. 

“I don’t dare anymore.” 

“Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it, okay?” 

“Just tell me, I’ll obey.” 

“Please stop tormenting me, please, why won’t you let me die?” 

Willow curved a sweet smile: 

“What are you saying, little sister?” 

“Murder is illegal, you know.” 

“And I’m a public figure. How could I break the law?” 

The diary stopped abruptly on the night of last year’s Christmas. 

< 

**[February 9, 2024]** 

I’m locked in the attic on the top floor. 

Looking out at the scattered fireworks. 

Suddenly, I feel a sense of confusion, not knowing where I am. 

Have I lived in an attic since I was little? 

Why are they setting off fireworks? 

Why aren’t those people living in the attic? 

Why are they laughing so loudly? 

How strange. 

Who wrote this diary? 

This author is so funny. 

She loves that man named Christian so much. 

Cries for him, laughs for him. 

How is she so funny? 

Is she crazy? 

So pathetic. 

If I ever get to meet her, I should tell her: 

“Emotional fluctuations are forbidden. You’ll get injections, take medicine, and suffer punches and kicks.”