His Name on My Skin - Chapter (7)
Ch. my skin 7 my skin 7
Chapter 7
As we placed the rings on each other’s fingers at the same moment, I felt a pair of eyes staring intently at me.
Samuel chose to wear the prayer beads I had gifted him on his wedding day.
Mandy had difficulty maintaining her smile due to his weird outfit, and when it was time for her to say “I do,” she paused for so long that even her strained smile faded away.
“Sam, what’s going on with you?” she quietly prompted. It took a moment for the man in front of her to break free from his daze. Gazing at my back, he gently replied, “I do.”
In the following days, my life slowly returned to normal. My relationship with Theo became more amicable as well. We argued like two content adversaries, enjoying each day in peace and comfort.
After repeatedly hitting a dead end with me, Samuel gradually started to seek me out less frequently. Eventually, there were even periods when I didn’t see him at all.
The day I shared my pregnancy news, everyone was overcome with joy, but Samuel called me in the dead of night. His call was like a rock thrown into a tranquil lake, disrupting the peace.
“Samuel, what are you doing?” I hurried to the bridge, finding him leaning against the railing, continuously pouring drinks into his mouth.
The floor was covered with empty wine bottles and innumerable cigarette butts, some still emitting trails of smoke. The acrid smell of
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smoke dominated the air, masking the familiar scent of sandalwood that used to define him.
The Samuel I once knew would never have gone near these things. Ever since he declared he was embracing a monastic lifestyle, he hadn’t shared a drink with me. But now, seeing him completely drunk before me, it was difficult to reconcile this man with who he used to be..
“Amanda, you’re here…”
Samuel clumsily tried to detach himself from the booze and smoke, grinning at me foolishly, as if the gap between us had never been there.
“What in the world do you want, Samuel?”
The wind was brisk on the bridge that night, tossing my hair about.
“What… what do I want?” Samuel mumbled, holding onto the wine bottle, looking confused. “Oh, yes! I want… I want to marry you! Amanda and I have been promised to each other since childhood!”
He yelled, his drunken words swept away by the wind.
“You’re drunk,” I said, giving him a steady look and speaking in a composed manner.
Perhaps it was the calmness in my gaze or my indifferent attitude that provoked him, but Samuel quickly approached me. For a brief moment, clarity flickered in his eyes, only to be replaced by bewilderment.
“Amanda, do you realize? I’m actually quite foolish.
“I’m completely clueless when it comes to emotions. I failed to recognize my own feelings, and I couldn’t hold onto you.
“The moment you mentioned ending the engagement, it felt like my
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whole world was collapsing. Theo is young, and he enjoys messing around. He’s definitely not the right match for you…”
Samuel continued to mumble, his speech blurred by alcohol and tinged with hesitance.
I gazed at the man I used to love deeply with a mix of emotions.
He used to carry a scent that I adored, but now it felt suffocating.
“Samuel, there was a time I loved you and wanted to marry you, but now I genuinely despise you.
“We ended our engagement, just as you wanted. Yet, I’m thankful I didn’t marry you.”
I responded to him casually. The events from the past were now distant memories, and they no longer affected me emotionally.
“Amanda, I know I made a mistake! I regret it.
“Amanda, please, let me have another chance! I… I really can’t imagine my life without you now…
“Please help me…”
Samuel clutched my shoulders with both hands, begging. I never expected to hear the words “help me” from him.
Once, his aloof demeanor and pride seemed untouchable. But now they’ve been discarded like useless weeds.
“Samuel, I’m married to Theo, and we’re expecting a child. You’re part of the past–what’s lost is lost.” I looked him in the eye with a steely
gaze.
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His grip on my shoulders softened, and Samuel’s hands slipped down my arms. He managed a smile that was more like a grimace, his voice raspy. “Is there truly no chance at all?”
I softly shook my head, appearing indifferent.
“Since you’re okay, I’ll get going. Theo’s still waiting for me.”
I touched the scar on my wrist. A reminder of the night I bit into it until it bled, nearly ending my life, after those numerous explicit photos were taken.
An intense surge of regret washed over Samuel. He watched in disbelief as I rushed into Theo’s embrace, not far from where he stood, his eyes widening in shock.
“Amanda!
“If I die, will you forgive me?”
A heartrending cry sounded from behind. I hesitated briefly before resuming my steps forward.
A loud splash broke the silence of the night, and the lake’s surface rippled for a long time.