Time Will Turn Your Hair White

How much did my husband used to love me?

Seriously, the guy proposed like, ninety–nine times just to get me to say yes.

It wasn’t until the hundredth time that I finally cracked.

I became the envy of everyone in Chicago as Mrs. Frank. On our wedding day, I gave him ninety–nine “Get Out of the Doghouse” cards.

We agreed that as long as those cards weren’t all used up, I’d stick around.

Five years into our marriage, every time he ran off to be with his precious Emily, he’d use one up.

When he was down to card number ninety- seven, Frank suddenly realized I was changing.

I stopped with the crying, the begging for him. to stay.

I just quietly asked him, when he was losing it over his ditzy secretary, “If you go be with her, can I use a card?”

He blinked, a rare moment of guilt flashing across his face.

“Sure, whatever, you’ve only used like, sixty- something. Knock yourself out.”

I just nodded, letting him go.

What he didn’t know was that it was actually his ninety–seventh card.