Ch. The Group Chat Without Me, The Life They Had Without Me 10 The Group Chat Without Me, The Life They Had Without Me 10

Chapter 10 

One Sunday, three months after the breakup, the flower shop closed for the day and Dana went 

home. 

I stayed behind alone to finish up, retrimming the unsold bouquets, changing the water, and wiping 

down the counters. 

As I locked the door, I noticed someone standing across the street. It was Caleb. 

He stood by the curb with his back to me, looking somewhat forlorn. 

He had definitely lost weight. His cheekbones were more pronounced, and his jaw looked sharper 

than before. 

He watched me lock up but didn’t come over or call my name. 

He simply stood there. 

After securing the door, I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed toward the subway. 

He followed about forty feet behind me. 

After two blocks, I stopped. 

“How long are you planning to follow me?” 

His footsteps stopped. 

A few seconds later, he walked up and stood several feet away. 

“Nora.” 

“Yes?” 

“My dad’s out of the hospital. He asked about you.” 

“Tell Mr. Mercer Sr. I said thank you.” 

Caleb looked tired and somehow unfamiliar. 

In the three months since I had last seen him, the easy, entitled confidence he used to carry had disappeared. In its place was a careful hesitation. 

“Have you… been doing okay?” 

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“I’ve been fine.” 

“I saw you working at the flower shop.” 

“It’s part-time.” 

“Oh.” 

He rubbed his hands together, as though he had no idea what to say next. 

I didn’t fill the silence for him. 

After a long time, he said, “Nora, I’ve been thinking a lot.” 

“Okay.” 

“The first few days after you left, I actually felt relieved.” 

I looked at him. 

It seemed to take a great deal of effort for him to admit it. 

“I really did, at first.” 

“No fighting. No explanations. No having to face that look in your eyes.” 

I said nothing. 

“Then one day, I came home from work, and the apartment was completely dark.” 

“I stood in the doorway, trying to turn on the light, and realized I couldn’t remember whether the switch was on the right or the left.” 

“You were the one who had it moved. You told me where it was afterward, but I wasn’t listening.” 

He paused. 

“After that, I started noticing something every day-something you had done that I had never paid 

attention to.” 

“The spice jars in the kitchen were arranged in a specific order. 

“My shirts were hung from light to dark.” 

“There were moisture absorbers on the bottom shelf of the shoe cabinet.” 

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“Everywhere I looked, I found traces of you. But you were gone.’ 

His voice was slightly hoarse. 

“Nora, this isn’t something I only regret now.” 

“I regretted it the first day after you left. I was just too afraid to tell you.” 

A shiver went through me. 

“Why were you afraid?” 

“Because I didn’t know how to say it.” 

“The way you looked at me after you found out about the group chat… I had never seen that look in your eyes before.” 

“It wasn’t anger. It was worse than anger. 

“What was it?” 

“It was like you had finally confirmed something you had suspected all along.” 

“Like you had known for a long time that you weren’t welcome, but hadn’t wanted to admit it.” 

My throat tightened-not because he was right, but because he was exactly right. 

They had been doing this for more than two years. 

The discomfort hadn’t started the day I saw the group chat; I had sensed something was wrong long 

before then. 

Whenever we were all together, the conversation would quickly shift to things I knew nothing 

about. 

Whenever someone suggested an activity, no one asked what I thought. 

Whenever I spoke, the conversation would stall for a beat or two. 

I kept telling myself I was imagining it. 

It wasn’t until I saw the name of that group chat that I understood the truth. I hadn’t imagined anything. They had all been playing by rules I couldn’t see. 

“Caleb, are you finished?” 

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“No.” 

He took a deep breath. 

“I shut down the group chat, but I know that wasn’t enough.” 

“Dylan and the others apologized, and I know that doesn’t matter to you. They were never what 

mattered.” 

“Then what did?” 

“Me.” He looked directly at me. “What mattered was that I chose them over you.” 

“Nora, I have no right to ask you to come back.” 

“I just want you to know that the name of that group chat was a lie. Life without you isn’t better at 

all.” 

I remained where I was. 

He waited for a long time. 

I said nothing. 

Finally, he took half a step back, then retreated another two steps. 

“I won’t bother you anymore. But if you ever need anything, you can call me.” 

He turned and walked in the opposite direction. 

I watched until he disappeared at the end of the street. 

I didn’t follow him. 

I didn’t call out. 

After standing there for a long time, I continued toward the subway station. 

As I reached the turnstiles, my phone buzzed. 

Dana: [We’ve got a new shipment of eucalyptus coming in tomorrow. Can you check it for me?] 

Me: [Okay.] 

I tapped through the turnstile and hurried toward the platform. 

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The train arrived. 

When the doors opened, I stepped inside. 

The car was warm. A little girl was asleep with her head resting in her mother’s lap. 

I found a seat and placed my bag on my knees. 

My phone buzzed again. 

Owen had sent me a photo of the meal he had bought at the campus cafetería. 

Owen: [This cafeteria food is awful, Nora. Save me.] 

I typed a response. 

Me: [Serves you right.] 

He immediately sent back a crying emoji. 

The train sped through the tunnel. 

At the next station, the doors opened and closed again. 

The train moved on. 

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